Book Two is out now!

Keane arrived at his chair as Holgur came opposite, and they sat. A statue of something glowered in the middle of the table between them. It was onyx, about eighteen inches high, and looked like dancing smoke. Or maybe a falling frog that had been shoved through a metal grate. A gold plate on the base declared it The Soul of Tyrrane.
Keane decided it was an old woman going pee. Tyrraneans were weird with what they considered art.

— Blow out the Candle When You Leave
Misplaced Mercenaries, Book 2

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Catholic Soap Sings

May 25, 2012

BREAKING NEWS: 8:33 A.M. MAY 25, 2012: In the Vatican, sources report that the holy golden soap dispenser in the Adjunct Cardinal’s third guest washroom has begun singing hosannahs in Lithuanian. According to the Most Holy Writ of Signs and Portents, this signifies that an Honest Politician has taken office somewhere in the United States…

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Stoned Gunman Fails to Kill Anyone

May 24, 2012

REUTERS:MAY24,2012: Thomas Hashburn, of Whoopsie, Maine, was arrested in a sting operation by the local police, in an effort to round up area marijuana dealers. According to arresting officer Nadine Jumpfirst, “The suspect was armed, and fired his handgun at us until he ran out of ammunition. If he hadn’t been so high, we probably…

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Man Seeks Compensation For Stupid Career Choice

May 23, 2012

REUTERS:MAY23,2012: Jimbleton Thornswipe of New Jersey, Texas, has announced his intention to press legal suit against his parents, the New Jersey City Education System, Texas A&M, Penny Furholtz, and the FOX Broadcasting Network, for encouraging, glamorizing, paying for, pressuring, or otherwise helping Mr. Thornswipe to become a lawyer. Says Mr. Thornswipe: “Everybody told me being…

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New Heroes: First Edits

March 18, 2012

Here is an update for those interested in the progress of the new book, New Heroes. The initial writing is finished, and the book is out on its first round of edits. So far the reception has been overwhelmingly positive, perhaps even a little embarrassingly so. (Certainly much better than I had thought it would be.)…

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Children Shouldn’t Play With Any Things

March 6, 2012

This short story, taken from the Lesser Earth universe, introduces several new characters unique to the upcoming book, New Heroes: A Novel of Lesser Earth. I wrote it as sort of a character sketch of a few of the players in the book, just to give me some insight into their personalities. The book itself depicts…

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