Hurricane Names Get Badass

BREAKING NEWS: 8:02 A.M. MAY 29, 2012: The National Hurricane Center has announced a new scheme for naming tropical storms and hurricanes, which will begin next storm season. Emil Thunderwear,…

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Gay Marriage Dealt Serious Blow

REUTERS:MAY28,2012: The Pro Gay Rights movement was dealt a serious blow this morning, after the liberal activist organization “Freedom to Screw Whoever I Damn Well Please” ran a position piece…

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Catholic Soap Sings

BREAKING NEWS: 8:33 A.M. MAY 25, 2012: In the Vatican, sources report that the holy golden soap dispenser in the Adjunct Cardinal’s third guest washroom has begun singing hosannahs in…

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Stoned Gunman Fails to Kill Anyone

REUTERS:MAY24,2012: Thomas Hashburn, of Whoopsie, Maine, was arrested in a sting operation by the local police, in an effort to round up area marijuana dealers. According to arresting officer Nadine…

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